You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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