To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
