Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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