plz talk dirty to me
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
