Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Randomize
