Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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