we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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