spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Randomize
