We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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