I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
