i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
