Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
