Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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