Where did you get a picture of my penis
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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