I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
