Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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