I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
