Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
