Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
