so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
