morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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