you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
