can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
