stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There's always time for handjobs
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
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