There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
