I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
