I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize