HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
