Are we in a gay sports bar?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
