we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
