You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
