She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I have fence marks all over my body
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
