I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
