you guys were way drunker than both of me
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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