should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
how drunk are you?
Several
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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