Apparently you make a good broom.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
