my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
