do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
