he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
More tranny stories later!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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