I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
