My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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