you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
