Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
