I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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