what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
