So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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