that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
