My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
