one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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