Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize