This girl is more easily done than said...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
