Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
